Some answers...Finally

As Rachel's mom I can honestly say that I stand here today with the biggest lesson of patience that God has ever taught me. Two and half months ago sweet Rachel was born into this world to be whisked away by a wonderful team of doctors and nurses and to be subject to test after test after test over the course of her short life. Many of the tests confirmed what wasn't ailing Rachel but none could really confirm what was ailing her or why. Last week we were able to finally get some test results confirmed. The doctor looked at her EEG and said there was still some evidence of seizure activity, but no visible seizures were noticed. She will continue to take seizure medication. He read the CT report from the radiologist and it confirmed that Rachel does not have a calcium deposit in her brain (praise God!)...that little spot on her brain was a bleed. However, her pediatric neurologist did find some soft tissue or "dead spots" on her brain around the area that the bleed was. He sent my husband to the hospital to pick up the film of the CT scan. While my husband was gone the doctor had me wait in the waiting room. At that point he did not explain the extent of her injury or what it meant for her. I can remember being in the waiting room wondering what caused parts of baby Rachel's brain to die. What would happen now? Would it get any worse? Would the damage continue to spread until all of her brain was dead? That hour was one of the longest hour of my life. I remember telling my husband about the blind man that Jesus healed. The one the people questioned Jesus concerning the cause of his blindness. Was it his sin or his parents' sin that caused him to be blind? Jesus answered that it was neither, but that God might be glorified. That thought was what kept me sane that hour. My husband had to leave after giving the doctor the film so I was able to spend some "one on one" time with Jesus. Right when my husband called to get an update, the doctor came out to the waiting room to get me. My first thought was "Oh no...how often does the doctor himself retrieve a patient from the waiting room. This must be really bad." I quickly hung up on my husband (sorry, dear) and hastily followed the doctor to an exam room. That's when he told me the news. He believes the soft spots were caused by trauma during her delivery. When she was born she had meconium (stool) in her amniotic fluid and the cord was wrapped around her neck (though not tight). Either of these issues could have caused her to have a stroke at birth. It is scary to think of your little baby having a stroke but it is certainly better that the alternative! The dead tissue would not spread and she would not get any worse! Praise God for the news! We will not know how the injury will affect her until she is at least a year old. I guess God is not done teaching me patience! There is a 50/50 chance that she will live a "normal" life. No matter the outcome, we will continue to praise God for who He is and what He accomplished on the cross over two thousand years ago!